10 Years trouble

Ten and a half years ago my parents came and collected my possessions  and took them back to their house. A month later I flew to Austrlia and spent 9 months there making new friends, drinking and occssionally being  a ‘backpacker’.

So on Saturday again my parents collected what few possessions I own and took them back to their house. Now a part of me feels like I should be having some kind of existential crisis, that my life hasn’t progressed in the last ten years. If I judge myself on the house, wife, kids and car narrrative then yes I really haven’t got much to show for those years. Also from the perspective of my mental health issues and my continual battle with alcoholism I’ve definitely gone round in circles a few times.

However I’m a different person, I am a changed man. I have had some amazing experiences in those years including new horizons in travel, music, writing and briefly (step) fatherhood. Those experiences have shaped me and made me more self-aware. They have also given me a level of confidence that I’ve never had before and wish I had gained earlier in life. So I’m single, unemployed and soon to be of no fixed abode. Do you know what? I don’t care. I don’t need symbols of status to validate my existence. I’m me, just one guy making it up as he goes along and enjoying where possible as much of this life as I can because I know it’s short.

So at times I’m down and cynical and want to rage against the unjust society we live in but I still need to remember to smile. Today is just a pixel on the canvas of my life and looking at the picture of the last ten years  it was great. I have a host of happy memories of my friends (old and new) and their smiling faces. That is what is important to me, not material wealth, so as this new adventure starts I look forward to what the next ten years holds.

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