Hey jealousy

Earlier this year as part of the Say it right writers circle project I’m involved in I wrote a piece about biting my tongue and self-censorship. I vowed not to do it essentially. The below is probably the first time I had to make a concerted effort to stick to that vow. I might lose a few of you with this I realise but I hope it also makes a few people think.

In the past few weeks I have had a lot of people telling me they were jealous of my forthcoming trip and how they would love to do something similar. This was usually followed by a number of excuses as to why they couldn’t or what was holding them back. In some instances I think the sentiment stems from the same dissatisfaction with the world and the current system that I feel. They realise that although I can never escape completely I can spend some time living outside the hamster wheel of work, buy, consume.

At the time people telling me they were jealous made me feel odd. I didn’t have a good response, I didn’t know what to say. I felt embarrassed like I was doing something I should be ashamed of because they felt they couldn’t. Of course this made me go away and think and I started to realise that actually those people could do it and they were putting up barriers to stop themselves. I can easily split the people I’ve spoken to into two camps, those with no commitments and those who do have responsibilities usually in the form of children.

If you sit in the former group and have no commitments, then stop making excuses and just do it. I’m taking a more radical approach and selling or giving away everything that is unnecessary. We are so ingrained in our culture of consumption that this seems insanity to some people. However most things we hoard and buy are essentially unnecessary, we don’t need them to survive or live. We spend our limited monetary resources on them and have to work more to afford those things we find ourselves desiring. I think the phrase is that your possessions posses you. So if that possession has a second hand value convert it into cash and you can then use that to meet the most important need you have, food.

Unfortunately happily handing over our limited monetary resources isn’t restricted to material items though, so whilst selling your possessions read Tom’s blog I’ve mentioned previously on mental preparation which outlines other ways to save cash by living the simpler touring lifestyle at home. I’m not currently doing all of those things, it is quite hard in a shared house where other people have access to the heating and lighting. Also consider other things such as your alcohol consumption, wasteful habits when it comes to preparing food at home or the premium of buying take away food instead of cooking etc. As an example of this I stopped drinking at the end of June this year, I didn’t really have much money behind me for our trip to the Alps in September at that point. Within two months of not drinking I had enough to survive on the trip without budgeting and feeling like I had to count every penny.

The less radical method of course is to save up money over a defined period of time to pay for equipment and your living expenses on the trip. A good example of this is Alastair Humphrey’s Adventure 1000 initiative that he’s been encouraging people to do this year. Putting a little bit away every month can lead to big gains. It’s also good because you can piece together your touring gear whilst in this saving phase and have some fun testing it out. The only drawback is you’re not committing to actually using the money you save to go cycle touring. Circumstances do change and it’s very easy to suddenly find yourself sucked back into the system before realising your dreams.

The people I’ve spoken to who have commitments in their life are pretty exclusively part of family units with children and mortgages. Essentially having children is a big thing because you have to provide shelter and food for more than just yourself. However having children does not preclude you from cycle touring. Clearly the most radical approach would to be to do all of the above but take the kids with you. Most people freak out a little bit at this point and say you can’t take children cycle touring, except that there are plenty of people who have done just that. The usual argument against going on an extended cycle tour with children is education, however if you are dissatisfied with the system why are you letting it educate/indoctrinate your kids? I mean essentially do we only let someone else educate our children because we don’t have the time to do it ourselves? The ‘Pedouin’ family highlight that there are an endless number of things you can learn on the road which we normally associate with formal schooling.

Ok so maybe you’re not comfortable taking the kids with you, so why not plan a cycle tour for a shorter period of time? Perhaps we need to see contact time with children in terms of quality over quantity. Would you rather be more satisfied and happier which would translate well to your children or dissatisfied and depressed which children do pick up on. The infuriating thing is that our society sees it as perfectly acceptable to work long hours or to go away for a long trip ‘on business’ but if that trip were to be more cerebral and not generating income then it’s clearly abandoning your responsibilities even if you are time bound and plan on returning to them.

The other clear commitment people have is that of providing shelter for their family and that usually revolves around mortgages. Essentially you are then limited in the length of your trip based on how much you can save to cover the mortgage in your absence. However if you are touring as a family then renting out your property is an option. The most radical solution of course is just to sell up and use the proceeds to fund your tour, you might need a longer term plan though unless you intend cycle touring forever.

There are also arguments given about partners views if you did any of the above. This sounds very blunt but in my opinion you have to do one of two things. You can either persuade your partner that this is the path for you and your family and show them how much it means to you. The alternative is that you need to find a new partner who is supportive or go it alone as a lone parent. If this is important enough to you that your dissatisfaction causes you some mental anguish then it’s important enough to discuss with life partners and be a possible deal breaker. As someone who is currently single that is very easy for me to write, but essentially I know that my previous relationships have broken down in part because myself and my partner didn’t see eye to eye in terms of world view and how we should be conducting our lives.

So stop telling me you’re jealous of my cycle tour and start planning to do it yourself. It doesn’t even have to be a cycle tour, any action that moves you towards future happiness is valid. It’s ok to dream, it’s even better to realise those dreams and push aside the excuses you let win everyday.

2 thoughts on “Hey jealousy

  1. Maybe envious is a more suitable word. While I’d love to do what you’re doing I also know that in my current situation as well as not being able to do it I don’t want to do it.

    I agree about the education though. Travel is the best education. I plan on taking my son on adventure holidays – be that cycle touring or flying into one airport and taking however long to get to another airport to fly home, with no set plans along the way; all within the shackles of the 9-5 and mortgages.

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