A Crime Against Humanity

Crime "bike"

Look at it.

My cousin asked me to sort his bike out so that he could use it to commune to university. “Of course” said I. Then he brought the monstrosity ’round.

Let’s start with the weight. It’s quite unbelievable how much this thing weighs. I haven’t weighed it but I’d hazard a guess at around 40lbs (18kg). Then there’s the geometry of the frame, it’s really short for its height. Knee banging onto the sharp brake lever clamps will happen. The grips, solid bits of plastic. Oh no, the brake levers, a thin piece of wire covered in plastic pulling on brakes with a similar diabolical make-up. I could go on. Everything abut this bike oozed cheap (in the true sense of the word) and unsuitability.

Will this bike inspire anyone to ride it? No.
Will this bike bring pleasure whilst riding it? No.
Will this bike be a mental chore to even think about getting on it and a physical chore whilst riding it? Yes.

When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. ~ H.G. Wells

I despair at this bicycle.

The thing that gets me most is that metals were dug from the earth, alloys were produced, the frame and component parts were manufactured, oil was processed to make all the plastic bits, rubber was used in the tyres, all the parts were produced then travelled many miles to be put together before travelling many more miles on trucks to a shop where some unsuspecting victim purchased it. An individual with good intentions, most likely. Intentions to use it as transport, to get fit, to get enjoyment from. Then they end up with this lump of uninspiring shit.

What a waste of all those resources and hopes and dreams.

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